Feb. 16th, 2009 10:52 am
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (Default)
Public post about the review, now with 30% less ranting abut the conference!

I went to a conference this past weekend (the 13th through the 15th). I didn't tell many people about it, mostly because I was freaking out about it and so I didn't want anyone to know. It was in Bloomington, Indiana, and it was called the Midwest Bisexual Lesbian Gay Transgender Ally College Conference (or MBLGTACC, which we quaintly pronounced "Mumble Tech"). This was the first GAY conference I ever went to (God my grammar is bad) and I was freaking out and anxious the whole time. Of course it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I knew it wasn't going to be as bad as I thought it was going to be, but that's not the point. You can't deny that in my life, things usually are as bad or worse than I think they're going to be, so I worry a lot. It's what I do.

I could insert a lot of things here that are going to sound really melodramatic and sappy and stupid, things like how it was cool being around so many other weird people, and it was nice not being the only freak, and I have a lot of stories I do want to tell if anyone wants to hear them, and a lot of information bubbling around in my head that excites me...God I miss college. For example, I now know way more about Intersexuality than any of you (she said arrogantly and possibly erroneously) and I want to talk to people about it because I miss having these discussions. I really do miss college. sigh. Anyway, the conference was amazing, and I'm really glad I went.

ANYWAY, here's the fun part. On the second day of the conference, I surprised myself by breaking off from the group (which is hard to do when you're in another State, in an unfamiliar city, on a campus that's roughly five times the size of the one you're used to, and you're panicking in sheer fucking terror) because we were attending different workshops, and I really wanted to attend the one put on by the theater geek actor who was going to be performing his one-man play "And He Ran Screaming." I was so blown away by this workshop that I actually attended it twice, going to the next session a few hours later. I got home bursting at the seams with all the things I wanted to say, and I wrote a review of the play and sent it to my boss at the website I write for.

Please please please go to and read the review. It's my baby. I'm really proud of it.

Look, it's even on the main page: (scroll down about halfway; it's on the right)

If you want to post some comments (and you know you want to post some comments, right?) here's how you do that:

go to and create an account
Check your email (possibly your SPAM folder) for an email from ProBoards, open it and click on the activation link in the email, thus proving you're a human and not a robot
Go back to
Click "Create a New Thread" ( and make a new thread about the review for "And He Ran Screaming." Or post in an existing thread if anyone else happened to talk about it.

Good times. Thanks for reading. I love you guys.
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (Default)
When you see this, post your favorite poem.

You do realize that asking an English major to pick just ONE favorite poem results in much weeping and gnashing of teeth, right?


*picks one poem at random*

So Penseroso

Come, megrims, mollygrubs and collywobbles!
Come, gloom that limps and misery that hobbles!
Come also, most exquisite meloncholiage,
As dank and decadent as November foliage!
I crave to shudder in your moist embrace,
To feel your oystery fingers on my face.
This is my hour of sadness and soulfulness,
and cursed be he who dissipates my dolefulness.
I do not desire to be cheered,
I desire to retire, I am thinking of growing a beard.
A sorrowful beard with a mournful, dolorous hue in it,
with ashes and glue in it.
I want to be drunk with despair,
I want to caress my care.
I do not wish to be blithe,
I wish to recoil and writhe.
I will revel in cosmic woe,
and I want my woe to show.
This is the morbid moment,
this is the ebony hour.
Aroint thee, sweetness and light!
I want to be dark and sour!
Away with the bird that twitters!
All that glitters is jitters!
Roses, roses are gray,
Violets cry Boo! and frighten me.
Sugar is stimulating,
and people conspire to brighten me.
Go hence, people, go hence!
Go sit on a picket fence!
Go gargle with mineral oil,
Go out and develop a boil!
Melancholy is what I brag and boast of,
Melancholy I plan to make the most of.
You beaming optimists shall not destroy it,
But while I am at it, I intend to enjoy it.
Go, people, stuff your mouths with soap,
and remember, please, that when I mope, I mope!
~Ogden Nash

I'm an egotistical bitch, so how about I also post my favorite poem that I have ever written? Even that is going to be hard. Let's see.

Chance of Rain

Trying to learn to like the cold.
Because I'm always
So I might as well get used to it.
And find something I love
in something I hate?
Isn't that the way to go?
I don't even remember why
I hate it
It's been a part of me so long.
The cold
I'm trying to learn to like
(to love).
Trying to learn to touch
to feel
the distant things I cannot reach
a million miles away
under my skin
in my blood
my bones
my marrow

So here I sit
(in this chair
in this house
that isn't home)
an empty shell longing
to be filled
with something more than
Trying to think of something
else that I could
I miss the feeling
I miss the flood
The rain, the pain, the tears, the blood
the bones, the marrow
Reaching out
into the dark
I find something there to touch
to feel.
I wrap the blanket
and try to remember
what it feels like
to be warm.

This was just going to be the meme, but right before I hit post, I realized I should tell you all what's been going on, so for those who want to read a rambling rant, here goes )
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (Default)

There’s got to be something more to this
what I can see can’t be all there is
because what I can see makes me wish for death
but my life thus far makes me dread what’s next.
Can death be worse than what might lie ahead?
An end to the pain, the shame, the fear…
it’s classic Hamlet syndrome My dear.
The unknown lies beyond this world I can see
and the traumatized little girl in me
fears what might be worse than pain shame and fear…
and she doesn’t want me to get there from here.


Jan. 7th, 2009 04:18 pm
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (werk)
Crying Out

ground into a
million pieces
on the ground
my heart is
peace is
playing hard to get
though you slay me yet I hope
at the end of my rope
myopia skews my vision
I don't feel you near
are you here?

you have to break my heart
tear it apart
to remake me new
like you
is that what this is about?
why doubt my doubt?
I doubt that I can
figure it out
I want to trust you see
but I can't trust people
I CAN see
how can I trust you
the One I can't see?
how am I supposed to do this?
I suppose it's not you it's me.

I am in pain again
and it hurts like hell
I know healing hurts as well
but is this healing
or is it just pain?
I can't tell.
I was wrong before
I see looking back
but the past is past
and it hurts me more
now that I’ve known the peace
to see it's gone
have I done wrong?
Am I just wrong again?

I am bleeding, needing, pleading
all my life I wanted
someone to care
I can't see you there
if it's true you're everywhere
are you?
where are you?
am I all alone?
I am bleeding, needing, pleading
all my life I wanted
someone to care
do you care?
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (werk)
I started writing my book again today.

There's this young adult novel called "The Black Fox" where this boy goes to live with (I think) his grandparents for the summer and on their farm one night he sees this beautiful animal, a black fox. He's never seen one before in his life, and it's so beautiful it takes his breath away. He just stands there, staring at it. Over the course of the summer he watches out for this fox and caring for it changes his life forever, but in that first moment, he thinks it's so beautiful and amazing that he doesn't have words to describe it, so he doesn't tell anyone else about it because he thinks any words he uses to describe how amazing and wonderful it is will cheapen it and make it smaller somehow, and he'll never be able to describe it in a way that will make anyone understand how amazing it is.

I think about that a lot. Like I say things, and they sound so simple and small, and no one will understand how much they mean to me or how I'll never be able to find words to describe how awesome they are, and even to say something like "I've been seriously considering killing myself for about three weeks now and everything that happened in my life was a blow that made me weaker and sicker and I couldn't find anything to help me hold on or give me any kind of hope or a reason to keep living until I started writing in my book again today" and I don't think even those words come close to conveying the darkness or despair that I've been feeling these past few weeks, or the huge amount of hope and purpose it gave me to begin working on my book again. I don't know how to say that in any kind of meaningful, impactful way. But still I keep trying.

I started writing my book again today.
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (Default)
1. Put your music player on shuffle
2. The first lines of twenty songs = a poem; the first line of the twenty-first song is the title

"In the Sun"

I miss the sound of your voice
Let me know that I've done wrong when I've known this all along
No more gas, in the red, can't even get it started
This is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world

So many people gonna say that they want you to try to get you thinking maybe they care
I probably shouldn't say this but at times I get so scared
I've got my sights set on you and I'm ready to aim
I guess I just lost my husband, I don't know where he went

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
Telling Layla's story spoken
I'm wrapped up in your mercy
We are young, heartache to heartache we stand

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
This world will never be what I expected
Don't go wasting your emotions
You change your mind like a girl changes clothes

This was never the way I planned
I wish I could tie you up in my shoes, make you feel unpretty too
Hurry up and wait
I wanted to be like you, I wanted everything

This actually turned out kind of cool. Bonus points to anyone who can name all the songs. :-p

Big Pimpin

Oct. 6th, 2008 02:41 pm
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (viva la vie boheme)
I hate to spam you, but if you remember when I read Edward Lee's "Brides of the Impaler" I promised you I'd write a review of it, and my bossman was kind enough to put the review up at as an exclusive, so I'd like you to read it if you get a chance. I love ranting about books and I don't get to do it enough now that I've graduated. Who knows, maybe this will turn into a discussion post. The book touches on a lot issues (I tried to find a better term for 20 minutes and couldn't, trufax) so it's something to hope for.

Teh Review Iz Heer

I also have a review for the movie "28 Days Later" which I'm really proud of and that can be found here:

28 Days Later Review

Also, here is a review for "Amityville 4: The Evil Escapes." It's a terrible movie, but I think my review is funny (IMHOWISHAAAO).

Here there be bad movies!

So I just got this email in response to my reviews, and it was batshit insane enough for me to want to share with you here. SRSLY.

This guy is crazy...crazy like a FOX (A psychotic fox that is) )

So what do you guys think? Should I ignore the prophet? I hear god frowns on that kind of stuff (I think he also frowns on people using him like leverage to make a buck, but I've been told I'm wrong about that, who knows). I didn't go to church yesterday because I was so sick, you think God is pissed at me? :-p

While hilarious, this is also weird, because I have been thinking a lot lately about how I don't have 10% of my income to give to the church anymore like I used to (now that I squander that sum on food every month) so I can't give a tithe and I don't know how weird the Episcopalians are about giving tithes. I don't think I HAVE to give money like I used to, but it IS nice to support the church, since it takes money to run those places and pay the reverend and all, and I don't believe God curses me like people used to say when I was a rabid fundamentalist (though you know I struggle with the idea of God cursing me anyway because of everything I've been through and all people say to me and have said in the past and what I think about myself in my worst moments) so it's just weird that right when I'm thinking seriously about things like this, crazies are always able to tap into these things and fling God at me like an insult. Eeps.

Edit: Aaand the boss put the crazy old coot's quote up on the front page...check it out before he takes it down!

Feed Me

Sep. 17th, 2008 08:43 am
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (idontcare)
Here is my new 'Long Winded' Column where I rant and rave about the indie webseries FEED

I worked really hard on this, so I'd appreciate it if you took the time to read it and let me know what you think (comments, questions, snide remarks, etc). I'm really proud of how this column turned out (because I am a geek). You all should totally check out the webseries too, because it's worth a watch.

Danke, [ profile] terminal83 for letting me geek out like this. I never tire of going to the front page of CC and saying "Look! I wrote that!"
edgarallenfrog: (pissed off)
I had a shitty night at work. The girl who hit me in the stomach with the cart confronted me and said she never did that, but if she did, she was sorry (um, ok) and then I proceeded to suck all night while busting my ass trying to be as fast as I could and failing. We were crabby and grumpy by the end of the night and I was ready to kill someone when I got home.

But that's not what I came here to talk to you about...I wrote a story just a moment ago. It's not Faulkner or Shakespeare or hell, even Stephen King, and I don't pretend it is, so don't get your hopes up. But I like it.

Read more... )

I like this story because it just happened to me about a half hour ago (well, all but the comforting girlfriend part, that was the artistic license of the old maid, dont'cha know). Like I said, I don't pretend it's great literature or anything, but it made me smile, and so far, it's the only thing today that had. And that's something.


Jun. 30th, 2008 10:48 am
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (suicide)
My new "Long Winded" article is up. Please take the time to read it and comment and bitch me out or tell me that my hair looks like shit. Whatever blows wind up your skirt.
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (viva la vie boheme)
Well today was an interesting day. I have to work with Snappy McBitchalot tomorrow and I'm SO EXCITED that I distracted myself all day writing reviews for the 2nd Annual Grindhouse Fest at Cinema Crazed which is the website for which I write reviews and a monthly column.

/shameless self-promotion

But anyway, I was plugging away happily when all of a sudden our friend Brianne came in and left a message. If you'll recall, she posted earlier last month about my review of the movie "For the Bible Tells Me So" and either she reads my livejournal too or she's not too bright and she thinks reviews are a blog, but regardless, she was back to say that I had given myself over to the devil and so had everyone on the site (my heathen atheist boss probably had a good laugh at that one), and then he replied and thanked her for the feedback and promptly used her quote to promote the Grindhouse fest on the front page, and then I replied all confused and he and a few others tried to cheer me up, and then Quirkytizzy jumped in and defended me and fucking kicked Brianne's ass. It was a sight to see. Read all about it here.

Fun times.

Someone please shoot me before I have to go to work tomorrow. I was seriously considering shooting myself, but then Quirkytizzy gave me the will to live, bitch. :-p

I'll be bugging you guys for the next few weeks to read all my reviews during the Grindhouse fest, particularly the one about "Bloodsucking Freaks," since if any of the rest of you are going to decide to hate me, that's the review that will do it.


Is it Orlando yet?


Apr. 13th, 2008 01:19 pm
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (empty wallet)
With all the tragedy and drama, I've been a busy little bee. I wrote a lot of reviews lately. Here are the most recent.

My Review of The Mist

My Review of Cloverfield

My Review of Spliced

My Review of Stir of Echoes 2

My Review of White Noise 2

My Review of For the Bible Tells Me So

Also, I have real life feedback on my review! Most people ignore it when [ profile] terminal83 tells them to go to the Answer Back Forums if they disagree or want to comment on an article, but most people are too lazy to sign up, so they don't bother to post. This time someone actually did! And they wanted to ask me about my "For the Bible Tells Me So" review! Indulge my ego by clicking and reading here. I mean, she calls it a "blog" and not a review ( does sound kind of bloggy) but she asks some good questions and I tried to sound halfway intelligent in my reply. REAL LIFE FEEDBACK.

Shut up,quit looking at me like that. I'm excited. :-p

I don't know what to do about the GLWTFBBQ meetings. I really want to go to the Day Of Silence thing because they're going to be showing that movie "For the Bible Tells Me So" and there's going to be a pastor who's openly gay (I've talked about meeting him before at the Martin Luther King Jr. celebration) and I'm excited...but I don't want to run into those people ever again. Jenn came over last night and she said she was going to go to the meeting and yell at Erin and call her a bitch and everything, but I told her not to do that. I hope she doesn't. But it was really cool to have someone stick up for me. It made me feel better. Oddly enough, it was a horrible night, but it made me appreciate who my real friends are...I don't know.
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (suicide)
50 Book Challenge Updates

#7 "Godless" by Pete Hautman

Really insightful. I mean that. The characters are weird and quirky in a real way that doesn't seem forced and the book doesn't offer easy answers.

#8 "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky

This book is good. It made me realize some things about myself. I cried for three hours after finishing it and I haven't slept since. I'm still messed up about it. Don't get me wrong, the book isn't perfect, but that's part of what makes it so good. I swear to fucking God this kid IS me. The only difference between us is I never repressed all the stuff that happened to me and he did. But the rest is almost identical, including the way he relates to people. Messed up.

#9 "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" by Ann Brashares

This book is good, a lot better than the movie (though I did like the movie). I want to read the rest of the books in the series now.

I'm almost at what I made all year last year and it's only now approaching April. :-p

Don't forget to check out my column...I'm really proud of it.


Feb. 17th, 2008 12:11 pm
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (viva la vie boheme)
Hey guys. I just wrote a new review and a new column for And I'm pretty proud of both if them. If you have some time, check them out.

Review for "Transtasia"

New Column: Love Stinks

Seriously, I'm really proud of both the review and the column, so if you oculd read them and let me know what you think I'd really appreciate it.


Feb. 9th, 2008 07:11 am
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (werk)

I'm probably prouder of this review than I have been of anything I've written in a long time. If you could all take the time to read it, I'd appreciate it. then see the movie. you won't regret it.

I've been in a funk for days. I don't know what's up with it, I can't shake it. I'm so tired but I can't sleep because I'm thinking all the time. I blame this movie.

Holy Shit

Dec. 27th, 2007 08:42 pm
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (werk)
Today has been...a day. It's been one of the hardest days I've ever had and fuck, for me, that's saying something.

So I get to work really tired and see my friend April and I can tell by her face something is wrong. I ask if she's ok, and she says "yeah" in this quiet voice that lets me know NO, she's NOT ok. But she takes some deep breaths and stares at the wall, so I give her some time and then she comes out with it. So a really good friend of mine committed suicide this week. I just found out. He's my friend April's adopted brother and he committed suicide on Christmas eve and she walked in and found him. I haven't seen her in a few days and now I found out why. I can't imagine how she's feeling. she cried at work and we hugged and I cried and it's really hard. She kept saying "We don't know why he did it...we don't know why..." And trust me, if anyone knows the reasons why someone might lose hope so badly they take their own life, I know. I know and I'm trying to respect that he made that decision because he felt some immense pain and didn't see a way out and I know it's never as easy as talking to someone about things but dammit, he never talked to me, he never talked to her. the hardest thing is thinking I'll never see him again. I keep expecting to see him walk in and wave and talk like he used to. But I'll never see his smile again. He'll never sit in my living room smoking pot and laughing and drinking vodka with me again, ever ever again. I feel lost.

*takes break because she can't see the screen through her tears anymore*

And the thing is guys...after I heard that, I decided I couldn't take it anymore and I was going to give up. I had everything planned out, what I was going to do as soon as I got home. This decision didn't come out of the blue either, I've been barely breathing for a few months now. I haven't really told anyone how hard this has been for me, but on top of the million and one things that combine to make my hope dim and go out (my failing health, often crippling anxiety, lack of insurance, lack of family, lack of money, lack of strength to keep going most days) I just got notified the creditors are not just going to take my tax refund (which I knew) but garnish my wages, too, and if they took the $200 they wanted, I couldn't pay my bills. And I got so scared and so tired of fighting. I've been fighting it for the past few days, trying to walk, trying to drag myself around and act human and it's so tiring that when I heard about Mike my first thought before the sadness set in was envy. I feel sick even saying it, but I fleetingly thought how he didn't have to struggle against the darkness anymore. I know it's selfish, don't tell me that. I know it's the most selfish thing in the world, I'm not telling you because it's right, I'm telling you because it's real. I know I should keep going. But I'm so fucking TIRED! I've been fighting the darkness all my life and lately my only thought has been what a waste I am, I was a waste of funds to go to college, I'm a waste just like my brother always told me because I can't even pay my bills and my debts and I was scared and sinking and trying to find something to hold onto that my first thought was yeah, I wanted to give up. Like Mike did. I'm admitting it to you here not to say it was right but to admit that fuck, this was the LAST STRAW dammit.

I did think that.

But then, first before anything else,, I thought about April, and how she had to find Mike after he killed himself, and how crushing that must have been for her, and how hearing about me killing myself would hurt her so much. I think it sounds egotistical because I'm not fucking great or the center of her life or anything, I'm not trying to say that, but I know it would hurt her. So I tamped down my tears and despair and tried to be strong. all through work for her if nothing else I tried to be strong. And then someone needed to leave early and asked me to stay for an hour and I agreed even though I wanted to leave and die, I stayed because I wanted to be strong for her too. and then I got home and something weird occurred to me. I thought that I'd never bothered to read up on wage garnishment.

So I did.


So...they can't take $200, at least from me, that creditor was a fucking liar, the most they can take is 15% of my income, which for me is $86 a month and while that will almost wipe me out, I can pay it. And my bills. My heat and electric together on my payment plan will be $60 a month and my rent will be $105 a month and I will barely scrape by with that, but I will survive. I will not just survive, I will live. See, I kept thinking that even if I found some reserves of strength within myself to go on it wouldn't matter because I wouldn't have money to pay my bills and survive so it didn't matter what strength I though I had when I didn't have money to pay my bills if I didn't pay my bills I couldn't live here and I couldn't keep going...but now I know that even though it will be hard, hard as hell like everything else in my life, I'll make it. I'll have money. So the strength needs to come back somehow because fuck, the money is there.

And I haven't told a lot of you this but I'm writing a book, I'm interviewing people and writing about my past and the abuse and my quest for religion and how somehow, for me, this has always tied in with my interest in the macabre and horror movies. I know, everyone's writing a book. But I have 6 pages written in 2 days, I've been able to plow through the writer's block and make myself write and I've already got an introduction and a first chapter and some interviews out and if anyone else wants to answer the questions just let me know. It might not sound like much but to me, writing is everything. It means I'm NOT a waste, I DO have something to say, I DO have a purpose, and I need to keep writing this book because fuck, it's not going to write itself, and the money is there so I have to keep writing because as long as I'm surviving I might as well fucking DO SOMETHING with that time I have on my hands.

I know this may sound disjointed guys, but to's everything. It's the blood in my veins, it's the air I breathe, it's the strength to keep living because it's a PURPOSE. And if I'd given up today, when I wanted to, and not come home and written a chapter and then looked online I might not have found that the money is going to be a hardship but it's not going to wipe me out or kill me. If I'd killed myself on Christmas I wouldn't have even started writing the book at all, and I might have taken April down with me when she found out about me. If I gave into the despair at any point in my life when I've wanted to give up I would have missed so many wonderful things, and I might not have found hope. And no matter what family members or creditors think I'm a worthless piece of shit, I DO have a purpose and I DO have strength and I WILL keep fighting. And I don't intend to stay on wage garnishment the rest of my life, I will finish this book and it will get published and I will pay off my debt and I will write more and publish more and Gloria Paris and my brother and everyone else who said I was worthless can shove it up their ass when I DO survive and thrive and LIVE. But for now, while I'm still here struggling to eat and write and keep breathing, I will have money and I will have hope.

And it makes me so sad that Mike never found that hope. Because he had it, too, I know he did, somewhere, no matter how hard it is to see or to reach I know he had hope. I wish I could have shown him. And my heart feels like it's broken into a million pieces right now and my eyes hurt from the tears, but I'll keep being strong, for April and for my other friends and for my book and for myself. And I just wanted to let you all know that.
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (censoship)
I just spammed Myspace with this bulletin, so I'm giving all my LJ friends the chance to do this, too, if they so desire. If not that's fine. If you're on my Myspace and thus got this twice, I apologize. You know you love me anyway.

The Bulletin Here...The default formatting screwed up the email list a bit, but if you copy and paste it, it still sends fine )

Plus, I have a new review up and I'm proud of it, so check it out if you want:


Oct. 27th, 2007 12:18 pm
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (censoship)
Watching a movie for free = awesome. Even if the movie is Saw 4 and thus a piee of crap that isn't really worth seeing. Review is here. Essentially, Darren Lynn Bousman is back as director, and having made all the films except the first, his preference is still to shoot everything as if he were a film student making a Nine Inch Nails video. You get that metallic swooshing sound effect over everything, jittery jump cuts in the middle of people's sentences, and eerie, atonal music playing almost constantly. All of these devices are employed even in the non-suspenseful scenes in the hopes of creating a false sense of intensity. But it doesn't work, all that really happens is you sit there annoyed at the artifice, waiting for the 148 minutes to be up so you can see the reveal and find out what happens. And then that never happens, you see a bunch of crap thrown at you that doesn't really explain anything. Hello waste of time. Just watch all the death scenes on Youtube, because those are amazing and then you don't have to worry about the rest of the movie. Trust me, it never comes together like the rest of the series. It's like they stopped trying. But yeah, free movies + purpose in life due to reviewing movies = good.

You know what else is good? Easy-as-fuck Rosemary potatoes. Cut redskin potatoes into chunks, toss them in a container with a lid, toss in salt and herbs de provance (rosemary, thyme, savory, etc. all in one little bottle) and olive oil, put a lid on the container and shake it until the potatoes are coated, microwave them for 10 minutes so they're starting to get soft, and then bake them at 400 or so for 15 minutes or until golden and devour them. MMMMM comfort food. I was ecstatic to learn that the dollar store sells hotdog buns, so I scraped up enough dimes on the way back from work to buy the buns, so I'm having polish sausage on buns with mustard today for linner (lunch/dinner) and I'll probably make more potatoes. At this rate, the $2 I spend on the bag of potatoes is really worth the money, I wonder if I can scrape up enough money to get more potatoes? At the rate I'm going I'm going to run out after today (MMMM CARBS). I hope and pray that I really will get my food stamps next month and I'll be able to buy food. MMMM FOOD. Weight gain what? But I might not have to worry too much about my weight. I DID walk to work yesterday, walk home, walk to the theater, learn the show was sold out so I bought a ticket for the later show, walked home, walked to John's to see my kitty and drop off his birthday present, walked to the legs are so tired. It's at least 7 miles of walking in one day. My body is not pleased. Perhaps I shall not gain too much weight. I dunno.

I'm angsting today. It's only mild angst and I think it's mostly brought on by my social anxiety. I thought someone was calling my name on the way to the theater last night but they were calling their dog/cat/small animal named Lily, so I looked like an idiot stopping and looking at her, plus there were other anxiety-ridden things throughout the night (large crowds of people in lines for movies are scary) and the GLWTFBBQ meeting causes some stress too, because I'm mad at myself that I'm too terrified to go to one of their movies nights but even the thought of one of those movie nights sends me into gales of terror.

I need to take my Airborne and my calcium and my vitamins and my fish oil and start my polish sausages (LMAO, start, like I do more than put them in the microwave). It's shaping up to be a good day.
edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (inspiration)
I has a new column! I'm really proud of it, maybe even more than I have been of the rest, so I'd appreciate it if you all read it when you got the chance.


edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (Default)

May 2009

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