edgarallenfrog: various pics of harvey milk (suicidal)
edgarallenfrog ([personal profile] edgarallenfrog) wrote2009-04-25 08:31 am

Oh Fuck You

Just so you know, when I caution people to avoid "reparative therapy" for their "homosexual tendencies" it's not because I'm ignorant or judgmental of people who believe that someone's sexuality can be changed, so don't ever EVER fucking lump me in with "judgmental homophobes" and say I'm just as bad by refusing to try to see their side or denying someone the experience of reparative therapy that could be helpful to them.

First of all, I never ever say "you HAVE to do this" to anyone. I hate it when people give me advice (HATE IT) so I don't push my advice on anyone else. I respect the autonomy of my friends and their ability to make decisions for themselves and their lives. I respect your autonomy and decision making ability, too. IF you want to go to therapy and pursue a life trying to deny your attractions to men and instead marry a woman and have kids, go for it. I'm not trying to stop you. But when the question is asked, I'm going to answer, so don't fucking ask me a question and then throw a hissy fit when I tell you some of my experiences and why I believe that reparative therapy is a flawed concept as it is applied to sexuality. I might hate advice, but I hate it even more when someone asks me a fucking question and then gets pissed at me for answering. Sorry you didn't like my answer. Next time, ask the question into a mirror, and then answer it yourself, and you'll hear exactly what you want to hear.

The truth is, I had a fucking AWFUL TERRIBLE HORRIBLE NO GOOD VERY BAD experience with reparative therapy. Even the concept of trying to "repair" myself suggests that something is broken in me, and while I'd tend to agree with that base assumption, I know that living my life trying to repress everything about me that was "wrong" and trying not to like the things that I liked and trying to make myself like things I didn't like was very harmful to my psyche. I have friends who have "repaired" their homosexuality and lead miserable lives today. I had a friend try to repress his homosexuality and he wound up killing himself. I also hear from people who've had good experiences with reparative therapy. I've seen both sides, but I admit it, it's impossible for me to be objective about this issue because the negative side of reparative therapy has cost me too much, and for that reason I still believe that at its heart the concept of reparative therapy is a dangerous one, so when asked, I'm going to be honest about my thoughts on the subject. Excuse the fuck out of me.

Sorry if I was annoying any of my friends last night. I was trying to lurk around on the internet and reply to everything and keep my mind off...everything. It didn't work.

[identity profile] peskipiksi.livejournal.com 2009-04-26 12:35 am (UTC)(link)
I have no experience with reparative therapy, but I'm imaging it'd be every bit as useful as me trying to "fix" my skating by doing everything clockwise from now on.* I might be able to pull it off, but everything would be ten billion times harder and pretty uncomfortable.

If that makes me a judgmental bastard, oh well. :P

I regret missing everything after my own comment on [livejournal.com profile] solitarywiccans, but I had to sleep 'cause I had to leave at 7 am this morning for FuckNowhere, IN. Kitteh "helped" by having a seizure at 1 a.m. that woke me up. It was just a little one and she seems fine now, but it's pretty obvious they're related to weather changes, I think. So I'm going to see if we can get her some Valium.


*90% of skaters skate/spin counter-clockwise; the others do it clockwise - Todd Eldridge is a clockwise skater. You find out which a skater is by spinning them both ways; the one that doesn't make them instantly want to puke is the one they're wired for. There are some skaters who can teach themselves things in the opposite direction, but it's never as strong as their "natural" direction, and only a chosen handful can manage to be good in both directions.

[identity profile] maritov.livejournal.com 2009-04-26 01:38 am (UTC)(link)
There are people out there who are bisexual but very strongly attracted to members of the same sex, and for some of them if they went to "reparitive therapy" and got taught to have an aversion to the same sex I could see how it might work. But for anyone else it is rediculous. Even some of the people who founded it gave up and went back to being gay.